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AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER: Captain Power, Hawk, and Pilot are the rightful
property of Landmark Entertainment. The rest of the characters in
this story are my original creations. In the interest of giving
credit where it is due, the quotation about love and the story of the
“half-birds” are from Madeleine L’Engle. The song
“Lorelei” is by Philip Chevron of The Pogues. There is
no intent to infringe upon copyright or attempt to profit materially
by my use of the material rightfully belonging to Ms. L’Engle,
The Pogues, or Landmark Entertainment. If anyone feels copyright is
being violated – the author will arrange to have this story
removed from the Web upon request. Please do not reproduce this
story without my permission. Thank you. Rated PG-13 for some mature situations, violence, and profanity where I felt such language was appropriate. REFLECTIONS47-12, mark 21 The people in The Passages were putting on their biggest Christmas celebration ever. That much was obvious to Pilot as soon as she stepped off the Jumpship. The hangar workers had put up a few crude decorations to brighten the place up. There was loud music playing, and everyone . . . just looked so happy. She just stood still for a moment, taking in all the joy. Well, the way the war was going, these people had every right to celebrate. After fifteen long years, it looked like the tide was finally turning. Lost in the moment, she jumped when she felt the hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Hawk grinning at her. “Some party, huh?” “Yeah . . .” she breathed, looking around. “Pilot! Hawk! You’re early!” They both turned -- and Hawk smiled at the familiar figure trotting toward them. “Hi, Fox.” Neil Lockhart. He’d arrived at The Passages the previous spring and was one of their few resident pilots. And Pilot had noticed on her last few visits that Fox and Lark seemed to be spending a lot of time working together . . . Hawk was the first to shake hands with their friend. “How’ve you been?” “Can’t complain. And neither can you, from what I hear.” Grinning, Fox turned to Pilot. “Lark’s finishing up practice with the children’s choir. Wanna go surprise her?” She turned back to Hawk. “I know you girls can’t wait to get together. Go ahead.” “ . . . Okay. If you sing just like that on Christmas Eve . . . and if you watch me. . .” The children giggled at the emphasis Lark placed on her last instruction -- but just a little. Lark glared at them – pretending to be annoyed -- then broke into a smile. “You’re going to knock everyone out of their shoes. You really are.” She clapped her hands. “Great work, all of you. Same time tomorrow –“ Her cheerful tone quickly became a mock growl. “-- and none of you had better be late.” The kids nodded seriously at this – except for one whose attention had already been captured by someone else. “PILOT!” They all turned their heads to see her standing in the doorway. Before Lark could stop them, the kids stampeded toward her in a fit of hero worship. “What are you doing here?” “Is the Captain here too?” “Tell us about that raid on Volcania—“ Pilot stumbled back in surprise, and looked helplessly at Fox – but he was obviously as bewildered and surprised as she was. A sharp whistle and a clap from Lark put a quick end to all the questions. “Hey! That’s enough! My word, anyone would think you’ve never seen a soldier before.” They all fell silent, but stayed huddled up by Pilot. “I said, that’s enough. Now, back off and let Pilot breathe. She didn’t come here to have all y’all swarming over her like a bunch of fire ants.” Reluctantly, they started to move away. “But Miss Lark, we just wanted to hear what she –“ “I know, Nathan. You like nothing better than a good war story. And I’m sure Pilot will be happy to tell you one later. Right now, I know all of you have chores, so scoot!” There were groans of protest which were quickly silenced by a glare from Lark – and the children shuffled out of the practice room – glancing longingly back at Pilot. Lark waited until the last one was gone, crossed over to the door, and shut it. “Sorry about that. They’re good kids, but they can be a little overenthusiastic sometimes.” She turned, broke into a grin – and grabbed Pilot in a tight hug. “It’s so good to see you!” “Good to see you too.” Lark pulled back, still smiling. “Now, I want to hear what all you’ve been up to.“ Pilot smiled. “After I hear about what you’ve been doing here. Looks like you’re keeping busy.” “As always.” Fox broke into their conversation. “Well, I’m needed back in the hangar, so I’ll leave you two to get caught up.” He grinned at Pilot. “Pilot, could you look me up before you leave? I want to hear all about that Volcania raid.” Lark mock scolded him. “Neil, you’re as bad as the children.” “But much more adorable,” he replied, giving her ponytail a playful jerk. She swatted him, still smiling. “See you at dinner?” Fox grinned back. “And the concert too, I promise.” He gave Lark’s shoulder an affectionate squeeze and took off. Pilot turned back to Lark. “You’re one to talk, you know.” “What do you mean?” “I know you. You can’t wait to hear all about that mission either.” “But at least I’m polite enough not to beg for that story right away.” Lark grinned. “Now, come on – let me show you what we’ve been doing.” Lark led Pilot through The Passages, describing all the holiday preparations to her. Before long, they were laughing over old times as well as recent stories they were only now getting to tell each other. But then, Pilot stopped and looked at her chronometer – sighing when she saw how much time had slipped away. “I need to get back to the hangar. Jon said he wanted us back at the Base before sunset.” Lark frowned. “Your visits here are always too short. I wish you could stay for the concert.” Lark had explained that the big Christmas concerts wouldn’t take place until Christmas Eve – but they were having a smaller event this evening – of both Christmas and non-holiday music. It sounded like a lot of fun to Pilot. They both sat glumly for a moment, then suddenly, Lark brightened. “Why don’t you stay? Not just for the concert – why don’t you stay the night?” Pilot looked back at her incredulously. “The Captain would never allow it.” “Why not? It’s been quiet out there. You could all use a night off. And after all you’ve done for us, everyone here would love to show you some real hospitality.” “I’m telling you, he won’t –“ “We’ll never know unless we ask. Come on!” They found Hawk and Power by the Jumpship – deep in conversation. Lark dove in headfirst. “Jon, I’ve got a favor to ask you.” “What?” “I’d like you all to stay as my guests for tonight.” He shook his head. “Out of the question.” “Okay. Then at least let Pilot stay. She can bunk with me.” “Lark, I don’t think—“ “Come on, Jon. You’re always in and out so fast, she’s never had a chance to really see how we celebrate the holidays. And as quiet as it is out there, don’t tell me you can’t spare her for just one night. Besides, after all you’ve done for me over the years, this is the least you can let me do in return.” Power continued to stare at her with an expression that said, “No”, so she looked pleadingly at Hawk. He didn’t disappoint her. “Give us a minute, girls.” They walked away, trying not to smile. If anyone could talk Power into it, it was Hawk. “It’s an insane idea. This war’s not won yet – doesn’t Lark realize that?” Power groused. “Sure she does. And she also realizes that we can all use a break from the action.” Hawk sighed. “Jon. Look at them.” He gestured over to the corner of the hangar – where Lark and Pilot were talking animatedly. Power watched as they laughed at a shared joke. “When’s the last time you saw both of them look so happy?” Power didn’t answer. “Those two friends don’t get much free time together as it is. Neither one gets a lot of time to relax and let her hair down. And this war has robbed them both of too much they should’ve had.” Hawk paused. “Let them have some of what they’ve missed, Jon. Let them just be girls together for one night.” “All right. Pilot, you can stay the night.” Lark threw her arms around Power while Pilot stood back and smiled. “We’ll leave a Skybike locked down for you in the hangar. And I want you back at the Base first thing in the morning.” “Yes, sir.” Pilot tried to look serious, but she couldn’t keep the grin off her face. The rest of the evening passed in a big, joyful blur. Pilot and Lark talked and talked – reminiscing over old times and catching up on recent days. They had dinner with Fox – who managed to persuade Pilot to share some stories of her last few missions. Then came the concert. For the most part, Lark and several other singers performed a cappella. But on certain tunes that begged for it, some musicians tried valiantly to offer decent accompaniment with their crude, homemade instruments. The concert wasn’t at all polished – but the performances had a warmth and spontaneity that Pilot thought never seemed to come through on recorded music. There was an incredible variety of style in the music. Sacred and secular songs – holiday music and everyday – fast and slow-- mixed in a marvelous patchwork of sound. The stories and jokes that Lark and her friends interwove with the music added to the wonderfully eclectic mix. There was only one jarring moment during the performance – when Lark opened up the floor for requests and an older man in the audience asked for “Lorelei.” Pilot had never seen Lark look so taken aback. “Excuse me?” “ ‘Lorelei’. My buddies in the UTO told me you could put over that song like no one else.” When Lark spoke again, it was with a tremor in her voice. “I don’t sing that song any more. Please . . . something else?” “ ‘Lorelei’ “ the man repeated firmly. Lark bit her lip, and then Fox saved her by calling out, “ ‘The Ballad of Grace Darling.’” She flashed him a grateful smile, and launched into the song of the lighthouse keeper’s daughter. Pilot sighed inwardly with relief as the concert got back on track – and then put that moment out of her mind. After the concert, the two of them went up to the hangar and sat around playing cards with Fox and a few of his off-duty friends. But, eventually, that party broke up as the graveyard shift began – and the two friends went back to Lark’s quarters to call it a night. Lark was one of the few people in The Passages with a private room. Space was at a premium here, so most people doubled up. But nobody begrudged Lark her privacy, because her room was hardly more than a closet. There was barely enough room on the floor for the pallet Lark was making up. The closet had been all that was available when Lark had first arrived in The Passages. She’d been given opportunities to move since then, but she insisted she liked her little “hidey-hole”— and the solitude it gave her to recuperate at the end of the day. Pilot sat on the bed and watched Lark finish the pallet. She’d offered to help, but Lark had insisted that since the room was hardly big enough to turn around in, Pilot would only be getting in her way. Once again, she marveled at her friend’s abilities as a scrounger. Lark had not only found the materials for said pallet – she’d even come up with a pair of borrowed pajamas that fit Pilot perfectly. Lark sat back on her heels with satisfaction. “That should do nicely.” “It looks fine,” Pilot agreed as she started to slide to the floor. Lark held up her hand. “What do you think you’re doing?” “Getting into my bed.” “Uh-uh. No, ma’am. I’m sleeping here tonight and you’re taking my bunk.” Pilot shook her head. “No. I’m not taking your bed.” “Yes, you are. You’re my guest and I insist.” “I couldn’t possibly—“ “You have important work to do tomorrow, and I’m not going to have you tired because you didn’t spend the night in a decent bed.” “You have work to do too—“ “And besides, I outrank you. So I’m ordering you to take the bed.” “I don’t think you really outrank me since you’re not active Resistance any more.” Pilot meant it as a joke but she instantly regretted it. She could see in her friend’s eyes how it stung. But Lark quickly recovered. “Active or not, I’m still your superior. Now, do you want to get back on my bed or do you want to stay up all night arguing with me about it?” Pilot rolled her eyes, but she pushed herself back on top of Lark’s bed. “Thank you.” “Anyone ever tell you you’re impossibly stubborn?” “All the time.” Lark grinned. Just then there was a knock at the door. “Who is it?” Lark called out. “It’s me – Neil.” “Excuse me just a moment.” Lark popped off the pallet and opened her door just enough to stick her head outside. She kept her voice low, so Pilot couldn’t hear what she was saying – but then, she wasn’t really interested in eavesdropping anyway . . . Lark’s entire conversation with Fox took only a few moments – but that was long enough for Pilot’s purpose. When Lark turned around, she found her friend seated on the pallet. “Get off that pallet.” Pilot shook her head, grinning. “No.” “I mean it, Jennifer. Get up.” “Make me.” “Fine. I’ll get Fox in here and have him pull you off kicking and screaming. It’ll be the talk of The Passages for weeks.” “You wouldn’t.” Pilot was sure she was bluffing. Lark reached for the door. “All right! All right!” Pilot leaped for the bed. Lark slid back onto the pallet, chuckling. Pilot made a face at her, then started laughing herself. “When Jon told me you Southerners have a thing about hospitality, I never expected you to be so . . . aggressive about it!” Lark smiled. “Aggressively hospitable – that’s me. Or hospitably aggressive, depending on the occasion.” Pilot sat up. “Listen, what I said before – about you not being active Resistance any more—“ Lark waved her off. “Don’t worry about it. I know you didn’t mean anything by it.” “I still shouldn’t have said it.” Pilot paused thoughtfully. “Do you ever miss it?” “What?” “The Resistance. Do you ever wish the Captain had decided to keep you with us?” “Every day.” Lark replied bluntly. “I miss you, and the others. I miss the good fight. I’d’ve loved to have stayed with you. But at the same time, I wouldn’t wish away these last two years. I’ve accomplished a lot here. Telling. Teaching the kids. Organizing the choirs. Helping save lives in the MedBays. Running the comm – coding and decoding messages. I like to think in my own way, I’m still doing my part for the Resistance. And I’ve gotten to know so many wonderful people here. People I wouldn’t have had the same kind of time for if I had to be in and out constantly, like you.” She sat back and sighed. “I just wish there was some way I could be in both places at once. But I can’t, so I just keep on playing the hand I’ve been dealt.” Pilot hesitated, then asked. “You and Fox . . . are you . . .” Lark groaned. “Oh, Lord. Are we that obvious? I guess we are.” “So, are you—“ “A couple? You could say that. A couple of what, I really don’t know.” Lark turned a bright shade of red and buried her face in her pillow for a moment. “Oh, Lord, this whole thing makes me feel like such a schoolgirl!” “What?” Lark shook her head. “Never mind. Let’s just say I’m still trying to figure a lot of things out.” “Me too,” Pilot said under her breath. “What?” “Well . . . I mean . . . how did it all start between you and Fox anyway?” Lark turned an even brighter shade of red. “I broke his nose,” she confessed before shoving her face back into her pillow. “You WHAT?” Lark sat up. “I broke his nose.” She explained. She and Fox had seen each other around The Passages a few times since his arrival last spring – but they’d never really gotten acquainted. Then came a day when they were shorthanded in the hangar – and Lark had pitched in to help as a mechanic. “Neil didn’t know about it and when he first saw me on one of the airships, it was from the back and he didn’t realize it was me. He thought I was one of the kids playing around. So he grabbed me to pull me off the wing. Well, naturally, I was startled when he took hold of me from behind like that—and I popped him a good one before I turned to look.” Lark chuckled at the memory. “Once he got the bleeding to quit and all, we actually had a good laugh over the whole thing. Then he invited me to dinner.” “Then what?” “Well, then we both got busy and didn’t see each other for about a week. That’s when he gave me a bloody nose.” Pilot’s eyes widened. Lark chuckled. “It was an even freakier accident than the first one. He and a couple other guys were horsing around in the hangar – throwing a ball around. Neil didn’t see me coming through the doorway when he was going to catch the ball – and he backed right into me.” Pilot shook her head in disbelief. “I know, I wouldn’t believe it either if it hadn’t happened to me. Anyway, we got the bleeding stopped -- figured out my nose wasn’t broken, and he said we had to stop meeting like that. We had dinner again that night, and every night after that for two weeks. Right from the first dinner we knew we’d be friends . . . and then we got to be more than friends . . . and now . . .” “What?” Pilot asked. “I’ll let you know when we figure it out.” Lark grinned. Pilot sighed and stretched out on the bed. “Hey, why all the questions about my love life anyway?” Pilot blushed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” “No, it’s okay. I was just wondering what made you curious.” Pilot swallowed hard. “Well . . . to tell the truth . . . I’m just curious about love. In general.” Lark didn’t seem surprised. “I figured that would come about sooner or later. Let me guess, you tried asking Mentor about it, right?” Pilot sat up. “Yes, and he wasn’t much help. First he went on and on about the different types of love – friendship, parents, children, siblings—” Lark interrupted. “Well, he was right to do that. There really are that many different kinds of love. Were you interested in a particular kind?” Pilot blushed. “Lovers . . .” Lark sat back. “Okay . . . First things first. Do I have to give you the ‘when a man and a woman love each other very much’ speech?” ldquo;Huh?” “The birds and the bees . . .?” “Oh.” Pilot blushed even brighter. “No. I know about sex.” “Thank God for that,” Lark muttered. “I mean . . . I know how it’s supposed to work . . . physically. What I don’t know . . . is how it’s supposed to . . . to feel . . . I mean . . .” Now Pilot buried her face in her pillow. “It’s okay, Jennifer.” Lark hesitated. “At least you know something about the physical stuff. That’s a good starting place. The next thing you need to know is that love and sex are two different things. If you get them confused, then you’re in big trouble.” Pilot sat up. “What else do I need to know?” “Well, that no matter how many people you ask, and no matter how many questions you’ll ask them – you’ll find that not one of us in this lifetime learns everything we need to know about love. But ask me what you want to know, and I’ll try to help.” “Okay.” Pilot took a deep breath. “Then what I want to know is . . . how do you know when you’re in love with someone?” “Good question.” Lark sighed. “Did Mentor explain the term ‘crush’ to you?” Pilot looked blank. “I thought not. Okay. A crush is . . . well, it’s when you think this guy is the greatest thing ever. Everything about him is perfect, and you think your life will be perfect if you can only get him to notice you. Later on, you come to your senses and wonder what the hell you were thinking.” Pilot broke in. “So, it’s not really love.” “No.” “So, how do you tell the difference?” “Sometimes it’s hard to figure out. The best I can tell you is . . .with the real thing, you don’t . . . worship the other person like you do when you have a crush on them. Having a crush on someone makes you blind to their faults. Love opens your eyes. When it’s real, you see that individual for who he is – no more, no less. And believe me, you’ll see flaws that drive you absolutely crazy sometimes. It’s not that you don’t care, it’s just . . . you figure you can live with them. And when you fall in love – it can be the most wonderful and terrible thing in the world, all at once.” “Terrible?” Lark nodded. “Oh, yes. The stories I tell and the songs I sing – they tell you some things about love – but really – none of them do more than just scratch the surface. Love can build you up to the point where you feel like you can do anything – make you feel better than anything else you can imagine. Love can also tear you up inside as badly as any physical torment. Just the realization that you’re falling in love can be as much ‘oh, no!’ as ‘oh, joy!’” “What do you mean?” “Well, you don’t get to pick who you fall in love with. And you don’t get to choose when it happens either. It just happens. And believe me, when you fall in love in the middle of a war . . .” Lark shook her head. “You wish you hadn’t fallen in love with Fox?” “No! Not at all! But this war makes it harder. It makes it harder for everyone.” Lark sighed. “Anyway, I wasn’t talking about Neil.” “There was someone else?” Pilot was intrigued. “First love seldom works out, Jennifer.” Lark closed her eyes. There was a long silence. “You want to hear a love story?” she finally asked. “Like the one about the Black Prince?” Pilot was puzzled. Where was Lark going with this? Lark shook her head. “No. A true story.” She opened her eyes and looked back at Pilot with an expression her friend had never seen before. It was oddly bittersweet. “I’ve never told this story to anyone. Neil doesn’t know . . . I’ve never even told Jon or Matt . . .” Lark took a deep breath. “It was the summer of 38. I was only seventeen. I guess I should start by telling you that I was pretty green at that age. I didn’t know much of anything. My parents explained the facts of life to me, but Mom died before we got to talk about anything beyond the basics. The best Dad could come up with was, ‘Try not to do anything stupid.’ “ She smiled ruefully. “He didn’t really have to worry. It wasn’t like the boys were exactly chasing after me anyway. Even with all the different people coming and going – I was always the baby. And I looked young for my age – too young to suit most guys. Either that or – well, you’ve seen pictures of my dad and brother. They were big guys – and they were both protective of me. Especially Mike.” Pilot nodded. “So anyone who might have been at all interested in me kept their hands off – scared to death of what my dad and brother might do to anyone they caught messing with their precious little Lark. That’s what I always reckoned, anyway. But that summer . . . it had only been a few months since I’d finished flight school. Dad didn’t think I was ready to handle flight missions on a regular basis, so mostly he still kept me in the infirmary or on comm duty – which I resented the hell out of. Anyway, the UTO had just transferred a couple of fresh-faced lieutenants over to our wing . . . ” “Lark, meet our two new arrivals from the UTO. Code-names ‘Fireball’ and ‘Joker’,” Tinker announced. Lark forced a smile and shook hands. She knew she should be grateful for extra help. Before her own graduation, the UTO hadn’t sent them anyone in two years – and she and Mike had only been sent back home as a special favor to their father. But all Lark could think was that these new pilots were just two extra excuses Dad could use to keep her grounded. “Lark will help you get settled in. Your first briefing is at 1600 hours. I’ll see you then.” “Yes, sir. “ “Thank you, sir.” “Gentlemen.” Tinker nodded, executed an about-face, and headed on down the flight line. Lark glanced down at her clipboard. “All right. Which one of you is Fireball and which is Joker?” She’d expected the one with the reddish-brown hair to be Fireball, but it was the black-haired one who spoke first. “Fireball’s my handle. Real name’s Glenn Robertson. Rank : Lieutenant. Age : 21. Hometown : Franklin, Tennessee.” She raised an eyebrow. “How’d you get the name Fireball?” “Last time they put the radar gun on me I threw a ninety-six mile an hour fastball.” He beamed with pride. “My brother throws ninety-eight,” Lark replied evenly. She turned to his companion. “So, you’re Joker?” “That would be me.” “Real name?” she asked, looking back at her clipboard. “Daniel Jordan. Rank : Lieutenant. Age : 21. Hometown : Valdosta, Georgia. Occupation : Hellraiser.” “Excuse me?” Lark looked up into a pair of startlingly blue eyes. Eyes that seemed to be laughing at her. “I believe you were going to ask me how I got my code-name.” Fireball chuckled. “Danny Boy here’s a real wild card – and he loves to play jokes. That’s why he’s ‘Joker.’ “ “Just make sure you don’t play any on Tinker or Falcon. Neither of them has a great sense of humor.” Lark told him crisply. “Now, follow me. I’ll show you to your quarters.” They fell in step behind her . . . Lark quickly got the two lieutenants to their assigned bunks and rattled off the basic directions and standing orders. Thank God, tour guide duty’s over. Mike can take it from here. She turned to go. “Hey! Miss Lark!” She turned around. Joker was grinning at her again. “Yes, Lieutenant?” “What kind of a code-name is Lark, anyway?” “I’m a morning person.” “Oh.” This was followed by an awkward silence. “Was there something more, Lieutenant?” “Yeah. You know our rank and all, but we don’t know the first thing about you. Where do you fit in the grand scheme of things around here?” “My name is Kiara Rutledge. My rank is Private. My duties are monitoring communications, assisting in the infirmary, and part-time Quartermaster.” “So you—“ “Answer the radio, hand out aspirin, and serve as an all-purpose gopher.” Another awkward silence. “Any more questions, Lieutenant?” “Yeah. What do you do for fun around here?” “Fun? I’m not around here to have fun, Lieutenant. None of us are. My father and brother will be glad to remind you of that. If you’ll excuse me . . .” Lark spun around on her heel and marched down the hall. Back in their room, the two new guys were trying to keep their voices low – but with her keen hearing she still picked up a little . . . “. . . his DAUGHTER, for Chrissake. . . . first day . . . what the HELL were you thinking?” “ . . .pretty . . . didn’t have . . . stick up her . . .” “ . . .NOT want to start that here . . .” A week later, Lark was sitting on top of the roof, watching the sunrise. Since she always woke up before her father did, he’d never caught her sneaking up there. The lookouts all saw her of course, but they’d never tell on her. Not as long as she kept providing them with their daily entertainment. What should it be today? She thought back through her repertoire. So many good songs to choose from . . . She finally decided. “Some glad morning when this life is o'er, I'll fly away. To a home on God's celestial shore, I'll fly away. I’ll fly away, o Glory I’ll fly away. . .” “When I die, Hallelujah, by and by I’ll fly away.” It was hard to say what startled her more – the strong, clear tenor, or its source. It seemed like he must have come from nowhere – but that smartass pilot with the blue eyes was standing on the roof, just a few yards away from her. Lark scrambled to her feet. “What the hell are you doing up here?” “I could ask you the same question. Isn’t this area supposed to be off-limits to everyone but the lookouts on duty?” Joker asked as he walked over to her. Lark’s silence gave him the answer. “You gonna report me?” she finally asked. “And bring down your daddy’s wrath on your head? Nah, not for something like this.” “How’d you know I was here, anyway?” “Oh, it’s amazing what you can get those lookouts to tell you – for the right price.” “You were asking the lookouts about me?” “Sure. I wanted to know just what a Lark does in the mornings.” “So, now you know my little secret.” Lark turned to go. “Hold on. I didn’t mean to upset you. I wouldn’t have bothered you at all, only . . .” “Only what?” “Only I should have known you didn’t get your code-name just from being an early riser. They also call you that because of your voice.” “Brilliant deduction, Sherlock,” she shot back sarcastically. “Oh, come on. Don’t be mad. I just heard you and I thought I’d like to find out how we sounded together. I haven’t had anyone to sing with in ages. Nobody in my last unit could carry a tune in a bucket.” There was a tense moment of silence. “Come on. Let’s try the rest of that song . . . When the shadows of this life have grown I'll fly away . . .” Lark was still angry, but there was something in that voice that pulled her into the song “Like a bird from prison bars has flown I'll fly away” Before she knew it, he had her trying some harmony. It was amazing how their voices blended together. Lark hadn’t worked with such a natural singer since . . . since the war had started. “Hey. That was pretty good. Wanna try some more?” Lark stepped back, shaking her head. “I gotta get to my station before Dad starts rounds—“ “Tinker won’t do that for at least another half hour. We’ve got some time.” “No, I really should go—“ “What’s the matter with you? Afraid of having a little fun?” Lark turned her back on him. She could feel her face turning red – he mustn’t see that. “Hey! I just asked you a question. I think I deserve an answer.” “I’m not afraid,” she said through clenched teeth. “Then what is it with you? It’s like the day we got here. Glenn and I were just trying to be friendly with you, and you give us the cold shoulder. I’m not hitting on you or anything. I’m just trying to have a little fun singing with you – and you slam the door in my face.” Lark kept her back to him. “What’s it to you?” “Because you seem like a nice girl who’d be a lot of fun to be with if you’d just lighten up. Damn, what’s made you so uptight to begin with?” She whirled around to face him. “There’s a war going on, in case you haven’t noticed.” “Oh, I’ve noticed, all right. I lost my whole family in this war.” She should have known. Now she’d really put her foot in it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know--” He waved off her apology. “Anyway, we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you. And I don’t think you’re completely without a sense of fun. If you were, you wouldn’t be sneaking up here in the first place. Why don’t you let that side of yourself show more with the guys down in the base?” Lark sighed. “You don’t get it, do you?” “No, I don’t. Suppose you try explaining it to me?” “With them . . . I can’t let things slip. Not even for a second.” Lark bit her lip. “You don’t know what it’s like . . . having Tinker for a father and Falcon for a brother . . . having to live with that.” “So? What’s it like?” Lark exploded. “I can’t do anything right as far as they’re concerned! Mike’s always criticizing me for one thing or another -- and Dad – I don’t know why he even let me go to flight school. He’s only let me up in the air twice since I got back – and he still won’t let me solo! Third in my class at the UTO – but he keeps me grounded – and he won’t even give me a reason!” She knew she sounded like a whiny brat, but part of her didn’t care. It was such a relief to get some of that pent-up frustration out of her system. “Everyone here still thinks I’m just a dumb little kid – so I have to work twice as hard just to hang on to what little responsibility Dad trusts me with. I let him or anybody else catch me goofing around -–and I can kiss any chance I have of flying good-bye. Not that there’s much chance of that now . . .” “Since Glenn and I showed up.” Joker finished her sentence for her. “No wonder you weren’t overjoyed to see us.” He was being so nice to her. Lark felt ashamed. “It’s no excuse for the way I acted.” Joker waved her off. “It’s okay. At least now I understand where you were coming from.” He paused. “Mind if I offer you some friendly advice?” Lark looked down at her feet and shrugged. “Well, I think you’re trying too hard. Maybe if you just back off a little – and stop acting so desperate to prove yourself around here, things will come to you.” Lark knew he was probably right, but her pride demanded that she snap back. “What makes you such an expert?” “Oh, not too many years ago, I was in shoes kinda like yours.” He grinned. “And here’s something else for you to think on. Maybe your father keeps you grounded because he values your work around the base so highly.” Lark snorted. “Well, I think you should consider the possibility, anyway.” Joker leaned in closer. “And in case your father and brother never told you – wars aren’t just won in the air – or on the battlefield, for that matter. You might want to think about that the next time you’re bemoaning not being out with the rest of us.” Lark continued to stare at her feet. “Hey.” She felt his fingers under her chin – gently pushing her face up to look at his. “We’ve still got about fifteen minutes left. Sure I can’t talk you into another song or two?” Lark gave him a little smile that quickly turned into a smirk. "I suppose you even have something in mind." Every day after that, they met up on the roof to work together. Two weeks later, Joker got the idea of putting on a small concert for the base. One concert led to two, then three, then more . . . “The other soldiers really loved to hear us sing. For just a few minutes at a time we could take everyone away from the war – give them something beautiful to enjoy. And the song the guys requested from us over and over was ‘Lorelei’.” “Lorelei”? Pilot caught her breath. The request Lark had refused to sing at the concert. “Never knew why they wanted to hear that one so much. It’s such a sad song. Mike told me it was just something about how our voices blended on it – that we never meshed as perfectly on any other song we did. I guess he was right . . . Anyway, we started spending a lot of time together, because of the music. Mike might have liked our singing, but he didn’t like seeing us together outside of the concerts . . .” “So, I’ll see you after dinner?” Joker asked. “1900 hours.” Lark smiled. Joker smiled and gave a playful hit to her shoulder. “Later.” Lark smiled as she watched him go. She turned around to find her brother right there. “I need to talk to you, Kiara.” This always preceded one of Falcon’s annoying little lectures. Lark rolled her eyes. “Fine. What is it?” “I’d rather talk about it in private.” Great. “The infirmary’s empty, last I checked. You can talk while I roll bandages,” Lark snapped and stalked down the hall. Once they’d reached the infirmary, Lark picked up bandages. Anything to keep her hands busy. If this was one of Mike’s typical sermons, she knew she’d be tempted to slug him a good one before it was over. “So, what do you need to talk to me about that’s so private?” Falcon closed the door. “Well, pardon me if I didn’t feel like announcing to the entire base that my sister’s making a damned fool of herself.” “And how am I supposedly embarrassing the family this time?” Lark stared at the gauze in her hands – anything to keep from having to look up at him “Oh, come on. Do I have to spell it out for you?” “I suppose you do.” “Joker. You’re spending too much time with him. I don’t like it and neither does Dad.” “I don’t think what I do in my free time is any of your business. And if Dad doesn’t like it, why doesn’t he tell me himself?” Lark put one roll of gauze down and started on another one. “Dad doesn’t think you’ve done anything stupid enough to say anything to you . . . yet. I happen to disagree with him.” “So, what’s your problem? Can’t stand the idea of my having a little fun?” “A little . . . Kiara, what exactly have you two been doing?” “None of your business,” Lark snapped. Falcon grabbed her arm -- so hard she dropped the bandages. Lark wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of hearing her whimper – but she couldn’t stop a few tears from welling up. Falcon grabbed her chin with his other hand and forced her head up so she was looking him right in the eyes. “It damned well is my business what a guy like that is doing with my sister,” he hissed. Lark forced herself to keep the tremor out of her voice. “A guy like what?” “I’ve talked to Fireball about him. A lot. He told me Joker’s reputation. He’s a real ladies’ man. He’s gone through just about all the girls in every base he’s been in.” Falcon let go of her and paused for a moment to let this sink in. “Dad and I both think you can do better than being just another notch in this hotshot’s belt.” Lark picked the bandages back up and stared down at them -- bracing herself for the rest of the lecture she knew was coming. The lecture all little sisters got from their know-it-all big brothers. “If you’re smart, you’ll start keeping your distance. Trust me, Kiara – you’re playing with fire with this guy. He’ll only end up breaking your heart.” “You don’t need to worry, big brother.” Lark cut him off. “We don’t think of each other in that way. It’s all about the music.” Falcon looked back at her suspiciously. Lark met his gaze calmly this time. “Really. We’re just friends and we like to spend time singing together. That’s all. He doesn’t think of me as anything more. No more than you or anyone else on this base would.” “Then why this ‘none of your business’ crap?” “Because I’m a adult now. I wish you and Dad would start treating me like one. That you’d just trust me instead of sneaking around, watching my every move.” Lark put the bandages down and turned to leave. “Kiara . . .” Falcon sighed. “I know you think Dad and I fuss over you too much. And maybe we do, but it’s not because we think you’re stupid – or that you’re just a kid. It’s just because . . . we care about you. Because you’re special . . . because we love you.” He’d never actually said it before. Lark stopped in her tracks and listened. “We both wish to God Mom was still with us. I know she’d do a better job of talking to you about this kind of stuff than me or Dad. I know we’re not much of a substitute for her – but we’re trying the best we can.” Falcon came up behind Lark and put his hand on her shoulder – gently this time. “Hey. I’m sorry if I went about this the wrong way. But you’re the only sister I have, and I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” She turned around to face him again. “I’m a big girl now. I know how to take care of myself. There’s no harm in anything I’m doing.” “I hear you. Just make sure it stays that way.” For a while, it did. But then the friendship had started to change. Lark had begun to see Joker as something more than a talented singer. Here was a man who seemed to take a serious interest in her. “He liked listening to my stories. He liked just talking to me. Sometimes at night— if we were both off duty – we’d just sit together outside and watch the stars come out, and we’d talk. We’d talk about everything under the sun. He was the first ever to treat me like that. I mean, to everyone else, I was just Tinker’s daughter and Falcon’s little sister – who’s got a great voice and tells good stories. But at the end of the day – to them I was just a kid who didn’t know her place. Everyone was always telling me I had a lot to learn about real warfare and real life. Daniel . . . he never talked down to me, like the rest.” Lark paused. “I never meant to go against Mike and Dad. But . . . I just walked right into it. I fell in love with him. I couldn’t help it.” She sighed. “At least I had the good sense not to just throw myself at him. I tried to push my feelings for him away. I kept telling myself they would go away – if I just concentrated on the music . . . and other things.” But her conversations with Joker had grown longer, and more frequent. And then came that fateful day out by the hangar. It was early in the evening. Joker and Lark were the only ones out there. They were catching up on some maintenance . . . and talking. “And I think we’ve just about got it.” Joker grinned. Lark looked back over the wing with a satisfied smile of her own. “Yeah, that’ll do it.” Joker began putting his tools away. “So, you wanna go see what Sonny’s got for us on the chow line?” “You know perfectly well what he’s got for us. The same sludge we had yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that.” Lark shook her head. “Thanks, Joker. I just lost whatever appetite I might have had.” He chuckled. “Sorry.” Lark closed the lid on her own toolbox and looked off into the distance. “Anyway, I’d rather stay out here awhile and watch the sunset.” Joker smiled. “It’s really a beautiful one, isn’t it? I wish more people around here appreciated a good sunrise and sunset the way you do.” Lark sighed. “Mike would say I make one daydreamer too many as it is.” “Oh, I don’t know about that. Your brother’s been saying a lot of really nice things about you lately.” “Yeah, right.” “I’m serious. He was telling me and Glenn the other day that he and your dad thought you were growing into a hell of a soldier – a real asset to this base.” “Daniel, if you’re going to tell me a fairy tale, at least make it believable.” Joker shook his head. “I’m not just blowing smoke, I promise. I wouldn’t do that to you. And honestly, Falcon told me that you were about the best thing that ever happened to morale around here – with your singing and the stories you tell. Said he wished you’d started doing that years ago.” He let that sink in for a moment. “Tinker and Falcon have more respect for you than you think. And you do more here than you think.” Lark took a seat on the wing. “Just what do I do anyway, besides singing with you and telling a few stories? Dad still won’t let me fly. I’m still nothing more than the base mascot. I—“ Joker put his fingers under her chin, and gently forced her head up – like he had that first day on the roof. “Hush.” Then he leaned over and softly kissed her My first kiss. She’d never guessed how it would feel. Hell, she’d never really thought it would even happen. She liked the sensation – and it frightened her a little at the same time. This changes everything. “Hey. You’re trembling.” She was. Truth be told, she was shaking like the proverbial leaf. A look of surprise came over Joker’s face. “You’ve never even been kissed before?” Blushing, Lark ducked her head. “Well, then I’m honored,” he said softly. Lark said nothing. She was still trembling. “Although I can’t believe the rest of the guys in this base. A little gem like you right under their noses and they don’t even see.” Lark shook her head. “You don’t think so?” Joker smiled. “You’re a lot more than you know.” He gently kissed the top of her head, her forehead, and then her lips again. This time, Lark kissed him back. “And it only got more wonderful after that. For the next few weeks . . . months . . . on into the winter . . . we went on meeting in all our usual private haunts. We’d talk . . . and we’d kiss . . . we could only get brief snatches of time since the fighters were going into heavy rotation, but what we could get was wonderful. And I thought, even in the middle of this war, I had to be the luckiest woman on earth. We did our best to keep it a secret. Joker knew Dad and Mike didn’t approve of him, and he didn’t want to get me in trouble. So we pretended we were still just friends whenever anyone else was around.” Lark smiled wryly. “Of course, we didn’t fool anybody. The whole base knew, but nobody said anything. Not even Dad or Mike. I guess they figured in the end, I was entitled to make my own mistakes.” She sighed. “And then, he started avoiding me. All of a sudden he was too busy to practice singing with me. He always had a briefing or debriefing or he had a mission to prepare for. But I could see other guys in the squadron weren’t nearly as busy as he was.” Lark sighed. “Finally, I just couldn’t take it any more . . .” She’d followed him out to the flight line one morning. She’d stood there behind him for what felt like an eternity before she found her voice. “What the hell is going on?” Joker stiffened for a moment, then turned to face her. “It was a mistake.” He said it as calmly as if he had been telling her what time it was. “What?” “This whole thing – you and me – it was a mistake.” The same expressionless tone. “What is that supposed to mean?” “You wouldn’t understand.” He turned to clamber into his airship. “Try me.” His back still to her, Joker shook his head. “My dad – Mike – they told you to—“ “This has nothing to do with your father or your brother.” “Then . . . I did something? What did I do? I’ll make it right . . .” He turned to face her again. When he spoke, his voice was tinged with sadness. “No. It’s not you. You didn’t do anything wrong, okay?” “Then . . . why? Why are you shutting me out?” He shook his head. “The music . . . can’t we at least still sing together?” “No. We can’t. I’m sorry.” “Joker! You done with that pre-flight check? Come on, get the lead out!” Tinker’s voice carried across the flight line. Joker sighed, and looked back at Lark. “I’m really sorry.” Then he climbed into his seat and shut the hatch. Lark took a deep breath. “I’m sure you can imagine how I felt.” She had muddled through for weeks, wondering how something so wonderful had gone so horribly wrong. Falcon had been good enough not to say, “I told you so.” “I didn’t need him to tell me how stupid I’d been anyway – thinking a little conversation and kissing meant something serious. It wasn’t like I’d slept with him or anything – hell, we never even came close to that. It wasn’t like I should have expected him to propose.” Tinker had said nothing to his daughter – but doubled her workload. “I was glad to be kept busy. I was sure the whole base was laughing at me behind my back. I figured the best way I could get back at everyone was to try being Supersoldier for a while – do the work better than any of the rest of them. And I kept putting on the concerts – by myself.” Almost two months to the day after the break-up, Lark was spending the morning on comm duty. Falcon had taken his squadron out on a mission -- a raid on a Dread base in what had once been Virginia . . . Lark reached up to scratch the itch under her right headphone. God, the damned thing was heavy too. There had to be some way Radar could make it more comfortable. Hell if she’d complain to him about it, though. That’s all she’d need – a reputation as a whiner. Let that happen, and Dad’ll never let me up in one of those birds. Lark glanced over at the radar. Falcon’s squadron was almost at the border of Sector 8, and it looked like all systems were go. If they could pull this one off, it would be the biggest coup for the Southern Resistance in three years. “Mama Goose, come in?” It was Fireball. Lark smiled. She knew what he wanted. “Mama Goose here.” “You gonna have the party ready for us tonight, Lark?” The standard exchange every time they went out. “I’ll set the table, but y’all have to bring the barbecue.” The standard response. “Just promise you’ll supply the music, honey.” “And you’ll supply the lies,” Lark chuckled. Falcon broke in. “All right, people. No eating supper before we say grace.” “Grace.” Six voices in unison. “I’m serious. No more chitchat. I want radio silence until we get to Windy Gap.” Lark shook her head. That was Mike for you. No time for jokes – ever. It was enough to make you sick. She took her headphones off and leaned back. Well, now there was nothing to do but sit back and watch the radar for the next hour. When her brother asked for silence – he always got it. Staring at radar could really get to a body after a while. Lark played word games with herself to pass the time. Tinker would bless her out if her caught her laying out a game of solitaire – but he couldn’t keep her from doing puzzles in her head – or from telling stories to herself . . . Lark was right in the middle of reciting “Catafo” under her breath -- the part where the Devil is teasing the children in the tree . . . “Don’t look down, don’t look down . . . no, no, no . . .” Then she saw it. How it happened so fast, she never knew. She was sure it hadn’t been there the second before – but now something was bearing down on the squadron – and from the size and shape – Lark grabbed her headphones – but before she could break radio silence, a cacophony of voices started across the airwaves. “I got bogeys at five o’clock!” “How many?” “Two – no – four! Shit, there’s five of them!” “I’ve got two Phantom Strikers on approach from the north!” “Jesus, where’d they come from?” There were more voices – running all over each other – and then Falcon came through clearly. “Abort mission! Abort, I say! Abort!” Lark looked back at the radar. They were outnumbered – and since it was by Phantom Strikers – definitely outgunned as well. Their only chance was if they could outrun them. And all she could do was bite her lip and listen. “Everybody come about! We’re gonna run for the mountains – try to lose them there!” Lark could hear the sounds of laser cannons – everyone was taking a terrible beating. “Joker! What the hell’s wrong with you, man? We gotta go!” The reply was lost in static. “Joker! Say again, Joker!” This time it came through. “Lost . . . three thruster . . . think . . . four . . . too. Can’t get up to speed.” Fireball came through immediately. “Falcon, I’m gonna stay back here with Joker and cover him.” Before Falcon could reply, Joker spoke up – his transmission clear again. “No. I can handle it.” And then they all heard the blast of the ion cannon. “Joker! Joker!” “I’m going back for him!” Fireball screamed. “Negative, stay with the group!” Falcon called – but Lark could see from her radar that Fireball either hadn’t heard or was ignoring him. A moment later – she saw the blip of the Phantom Striker behind Joker disappear. “I got him! I got the son of a bitch!” Fireball’s maniacal laugh came over the comm. “You hear that, Joker? I got him for you!” “Thanks, Glenn.” The reply was almost toneless. “Come on, Joker. We gotta catch up to the others.” “Left engine’s gone, Glenn. Right’s at ten percent.” They all knew what that meant. “Then eject, man! What the hell are you waiting for?” “That last blast came in right at my feet. Ejection controls are fused.” That same toneless voice. “Shit.” Fireball sounded like he was about to cry. “Oh, Jesus, Dan—“ “You gotta climb up to the others, Glenn. Do it. If you run now you’ve got a chance. All of you. You’ve got to keep running. Don’t look back.” There was silence on the comm for the first time since the ambush started. Then she heard it. “Lark? Lark, are you there?” He hadn’t asked for her in weeks. Never even spoke to her any more if he could help it. Lark was too stunned for a moment to get the words out. “I’m here.” And then he started singing . . . “River, river have mercy Take me down to the sea For if I perish on these rocks My love no more I’ll see” Hesitating at first – Lark joined in the chorus of their old duet. His breathing sounded labored – but he got every word out – every note right. And then he jumped ahead to the last verse. Tears streaming down her face, Lark sat in silence as he gasped out every word. “But if my ship, which sails tomorrow Should crash against these rocks My sorrows I will drown, before I die It’s you I’ll see, not Lorelei” There was a moment of silence. Then she heard him draw a ragged breath. “I love you, Kiara.” And then the link went dead. Lark sat back, wiping a few tears from her eyes. “I’ve never been able to get through ‘Lorelei’ since then without breaking down. That’s why I wouldn’t sing it tonight.” Pilot didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t imagine what it must have felt like – listening to the man you love over a comm link – knowing that he’s about to die. “In a way, those words were the most precious gift he could have given me. In another way, it was like I’d had a knife put in my heart and twisted. Mike said Daniel was a complete bastard to do that to me – but I never could see it that way. Even with all the pain, I think I was still better off knowing the truth – that he really did care for me.” Lark sat back. “But after it was all over, I didn’t think I could let myself risk being hurt like that ever again. So I went back to being the girl always ready with a joke, a story, or a song – and nothing more. I wasn’t ever going to expose myself to that kind of pain again.” “And now?” Lark gave a little half-smile. “I never expected to find love here. Hell, I thought it’d be just like back home. I’d just keep myself so busy I’d never have to worry about it. And then Neil came along . . .and I resisted falling in love with him for so long. God, I fought like hell against it. Part of it was because he’s a pilot too. I wasn’t sure I could live with it – knowing that one day he might not make it back from one of those supply runs with Jay and the others.” “What brought you around?” “He wore me down with his irresistible charm,” Lark chuckled. “No, seriously. Someone reminded me that part of being human is taking risks – with your heart and soul – not just your life, and that if I kept on shutting love out, I was only living half a life.” She sat back. “Neil’s not what I expected – and he’s definitely not Prince Charming. But he may be exactly what I need. Maybe I’m what he needs too. Did I ever tell you the myth about the half-birds?” Pilot shook her head. “There’s a legend that there are these birds, and each one is missing its right wing. And then there are these other birds – all missing a left wing. Now, apart, these birds can get along okay – running around on the ground. But if a left-wing bird finds a right-wing bird, then they can join hands and fly across the sky. Whoever made that story up was trying to describe what true love is like.” Pilot thought about this for a minute. “Can I ask you something about Joker?” “Shoot.” “Why do you think he did it? I mean . . . why did he tell you it was a mistake and then take it back?” Lark shrugged. “I asked myself that a lot. I really don’t know. From what Glenn told me about him – that wasn’t the way he usually handled his love affairs. Maybe he was trying to protect me for a while there. Maybe he just got cold feet. Maybe he’d never known real love either and it scared him.” She shrugged again. “I’ve learned to live without getting some answers.” Lark leaned forward. “I know one thing, though. If I had it to do all over again, I don’t think I would change any of it. Except for the part where I hardened my heart for all those years.” “So it’s worth it? It’s worth getting hurt like that?” “Hell yes, it’s worth it. If you’re strong enough.” Pilot lay back on the bed and let this sink in. She still had more questions, but she wasn’t sure she should ask them. Some of them, she wasn’t even sure how to ask. Finally, she propped herself up on her elbow, so she could face Lark again. “Kiara . . . you said earlier – that love and sex are two different things and not to get them confused.” “Yes.” “So . . . how do you keep from confusing them?” “Okay. I guess what you’re asking me is how you distinguish love from lust. Am I right?” Pilot nodded. “Well . . . it’s not like I have a lot of experience. But from what I do know . . . true love starts with friendship first and foremost. Lust – it’s just hormones and impulses. There’s no foundation there. When it’s lust – take away the sex act – and only emptiness remains. That make sense to you?” Jennifer nodded again, then paused thoughtfully. “If it is love . . . then . . .” God, she didn’t know if she could ask this . . . Lark leaned forward. “Then . . . what?” “How do you know when it’s right? How . . .” She shook her head. “I shouldn’t even be asking this—“ “No, Jennifer, it’s okay.” Lark assured her. “I just don’t know how to answer you. I’m still trying to figure out a lot of the same things myself. I haven’t . . . Neil and I . . . we still have a lot to learn about each other.” She sighed, and when she spoke again, her tone was gentle. “Jennifer, I wish I could explain love to you like algebra or geometry, but it isn’t like that. Even if I had more experience, I don’t think I could give you all the answers you want. You’re going to have to find a lot of this out for yourself. And you’ll probably make your share of mistakes doing it.” Lark paused. “Last time you visited, you told me that you’ve been studying a lot about classical music. Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, all the great composers?” Pilot nodded, though she had no idea why Lark had changed the subject. “So, you know something about what’s involved, in composing and playing great music like that? The difficulty of it?” “Yes, but what does—“ Lark held up her hand. “A long time ago, a very wise woman wrote, ‘It takes a lifetime to learn all the varied ways of love, including intercourse. Love-making is like a Bach fugue; you can't go to the piano and play a fugue the first time you hold your hands out over the keys.’” This made sense. “So, you’re telling me that making mistakes and getting hurt is inevitable.” Lark nodded. “Yes. But like I said before, it’s worth it.” She hesitated. “Jennifer . . . I don’t mean to pry . . . but I’m getting the feeling it’s more than simple curiosity that has you asking me these questions.” Pilot blushed and looked away. “Jennifer? Don’t tell me anything you don’t want to, okay?” Lark paused. “But anything you want to tell me stays right here. I won’t say anything to anyone else, I promise” There was a long silence before Pilot finally spoke. “It’s Jon.” Lark sat back. I knew it. She immediately corrected herself. She’d half-convinced herself it was merely hero worship – but she’d seen the way Jennifer looked at Jon. And she’d seen the way Jon looked back at her . . . The logical thing to do would be to tell Pilot to be cautious. Tell her there were good reasons for a soldier not to get romantically involved with her commanding officer. But her intuition was telling her to throw logic out the window. Pilot broke into her thoughts. “I always . . . respected him . . . looked up to him. He was the first real friend I ever had. He trusted me . . . believed in me when no one else did.” She took a deep breath. “The other night, we were celebrating – because the strike on Volcania was such a big success. Hawk put on some music and . . . we were all dancing. And then, Jon and I were dancing by ourselves . . . and it was different. It wasn’t like dancing with the rest of the guys.” She paused. “I just looked at him . . . and I don’t know how to describe it. It was . . . like looking at him for the very first time.” Pilot bit her lip. “I think it was different for him too. The others . . .they were all just cutting up and having fun. Jon . . . he was so serious about it. And . . . when I looked in his eyes . . .I don’t know. . . I just never felt anything like that before . . .” She took a deep breath. “And he kissed me once . . .” Lark hadn’t expected that, and she couldn’t keep her eyes from widening. “But it wasn’t a real kiss.” Pilot added hastily. “Not like you and Joker. It was just for luck – before the mission. And that’s all. Just one dance and a little kiss. I’m probably making too much of it.” “Everything starts somewhere, Jennifer,” Lark said quietly. Pilot looked down at the floor. “You said yourself you were stupid to believe some kisses and conversation meant something serious—“ “And maybe I was – but that was Joker. He had a reputation for not being serious with anyone. I know Jon, and he’s not like that.” “And you said first love seldom works out . . .” “I didn’t say never,” Lark pointed out. Pilot stared back at the floor and said nothing. “Jennifer. You asked me before how to tell when you were in love with someone. I don’t think I have to give you the answer – because you know it already in your heart.” Still no response from Pilot. Lark leaned in closer. “You haven’t told him.” It was a statement, not a question. Now Pilot looked up, and Lark could see the glimmer of tears in her eyes. “I can’t! He’s my captain . . . I . . . I have no right—“ “Having any kind of right has nothing to do with loving someone, or being loved. I told you – you don’t get to pick who you fall in love with or when it happens. If we all waited until we thought we were worthy or had some kind of right to love or be loved, it would never happen.” Lark got up from the pallet and perched on the edge of the bed next to her friend. “Jennifer . . . you have to tell him. He needs to know.” Pilot shook her head. “Hon . . .you need to do it for your own good, at least. If you don’t . . . it’ll eat you up inside. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.” “What if . . . what if he doesn’t feel the same?” “Oh, Jen . . .” Lark reached out and gave her friend a comforting hug. “Jennifer . . . I can’t promise you that he does. But I’ve seen how he looks at you, and he’s talked to me about you -- a little. Enough that I know he cares about you very much . . . I know he’d never want to hurt you . . . Even if he doesn’t feel the same way about you, I think he’d be very flattered -- honored -- that he brought out those kind of feelings in you. I don’t think he’d ever want you to feel bad or ashamed of loving him like that.” I just hope he doesn’t hand her that age-old excuse about not wanting to spoil the friendship. After a moment, Pilot pulled herself out of the hug. “Okay. So how do I tell him?” “Well, obviously, you’re not going to walk into the control room when you get back and announce it in front of the whole team.” Lark chuckled, and Pilot managed a smile at this. “You’ll know the right time. Wait until you two are alone and he’s in a listening mood, and then – just tell him.” Pilot nodded – but Lark could see right through the brave face she was putting on. “I know, I know. It’s a lot easier said than done. The key thing is not to lose your nerve once you’ve found the moment. Easy for me to say, I know.” Pilot nodded again, glumly. “Lark, what if he doesn’t—“ Lark cut her off. “It won’t be the end of the world. It’ll just feel like it for a while.” She smiled. “Anyway, like I said, I can’t imagine him ever making you feel bad about this. And honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he does feel the same way about you.” “Really?” Lark nodded. “Yes. Men are just the most awful creatures when it comes to expressing their true feelings for us. A lot of the time, we have to drag it out of them, and it’s worse than pulling teeth.” Pilot smiled at this. “Anyway, if he breaks your heart, you send him back here to me, and I’ll beat him for you.” Lark grinned. The mental picture of Lark roughing up Jonathan Power was too much for Pilot – and she began laughing through her tears. Though she’d only been half-joking, Lark couldn’t help but chuckle too. She waited for Pilot’s giggles to die down, and then let herself get serious again. “I’ll be honest with you, Jennifer . . .Whatever happens, it’s not going to be easy for you. But I promise you – however this turns out . . . you'll be the better for it. Believe me." Lark gave Pilot’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. "Now, did that help you?" “I think so.” Pilot smiled bravely. “Good. Because it is way, way past midnight, and both of us need to get our beauty sleep.” “Oh, Kiara, I’m sorry—“ “You needed to talk. That’s what I’m here for.” “Well, thank you.” Lark hugged her friend. “You are most welcome. Any time. Now, try to get some sleep.” The next thing Pilot knew, Lark was gently shaking her awake. She sat bolt upright as soon as the sensation registered – and caught the look of urgency on her friend’s face. “Lark? What’s going on?” “Neil just commed me. Scout just radioed in. The team needs you back ASAP.” Lark got out of the way as Pilot hurled herself out of bed and grabbed her PowerSuit in one smooth motion. “Why didn’t he comm me directly?” she asked as she slipped out of the pajamas and began pulling her suit on. “And what time is it? “Quarter after four. He figured it would be quicker to get the comm tech on duty. Anyway, they had to put us on alert too,” Lark replied while pulling on her own fatigues. “For what?” “I don’t know yet.” Now fully dressed, Lark stood up. “I need to go check something. I’ll be right back, okay?” Jennifer nodded as she gathered her hair into its usual ponytail. Just their luck. She’d hoped she and Lark would have more time. Time to talk about . . . other things. She shook herself. They’d been lucky to get half the night. No point in wishing for more luxuries they couldn’t have. Complex though the PowerSuit was, Pilot had perfected the art of getting it on and off. She could get in or out of the whole thing in less than two minutes. Two years before it had taken almost ten. She was ready and waiting when Lark returned. “Catch.” She threw Lark a protein bar and a small plastic water bottle. “I was hoping we could offer you a decent breakfast, but that’ll have to do.” “I can wait and eat back at the Base.” “If the report Neil just gave me is accurate, you won’t have time. I don’t know what Dread hit this morning, but apparently it was something big. Besides, y’all have kept us really well-stocked with provisions – I think we can spare this.” Pilot knew further arguing would be a waste of time. “What’s the word from Scout?” she asked as she unwrapped the bar. “I don’t have any details. I guess they’ll fill you in when you get home. Hey, don’t choke yourself!” Despite Lark’s urging to go slow, Pilot quickly downed the bar and water. “Let’s go.” Fox already had the Skybike ready to go. Power didn’t like anyone from off the team messing with their transports – and usually, neither did Pilot-- but she was grateful to Fox for his effort to save her some time. “Sorry you couldn’t stay with us longer, Pilot. It’s always good to have you here.” “Thank you, Fox.” She held out her hand – but he surprised her by giving her a friendly hug instead of a handshake. “Don’t be a stranger,” he told her. “I won’t.” She smiled back at him. “Fox! Give us a hand over here!” a man’s voice boomed from across the hangar. “Ladies.” Fox gave a quick kiss to the top of Lark’s head and a salute to them both, then turned and trotted in the direction of the voice. Lark sighed. “Duty calls all of us. They want me at the comm. Oh, before I forget—“ She reached into her pocket and pulled out a mini-disc. “The latest round of stories for Mentor. Consider it an early Christmas present.” Pilot slipped it into her own pocket. “ Thanks.” The two friends exchanged one last hug. “Take care,” Lark said. Pilot smiled. “You too.” Quickly, she powered up her suit, then the bike. Lark stepped back and waved as Pilot took off – and kept waving until the Skybike disappeared from sight. Pilot pushed the Skybike as fast as she dared. Scout hadn’t said much when she checked in over the comm – only that the team was glad to hear she was on her way and to get home as quickly as she could. She couldn’t waste time trying to imagine what this latest crisis might be – so she focused all her energy on just getting to Base. The rest of the team were all waiting by the Jumpship as she docked in the hangar. “Welcome home,” Power offered as she stepped off the Skybike, but he wasn’t smiling. “Sorry we had to get you out of there so early, but we need the whole team for this. Dread launched a massive attack against Waycross earlier this morning. Air strike followed by a ground assault. Most of Dread’s pilots have cleared out but the place is still swarming with Bio-Mechs. They’ve got mass casualties, and we need to go now to have any chance of picking up survivors.” “Why didn’t you have me meet you there? That would have saved time.” Power shook his head. “Area’s still too hot. Too dangerous for one person on a Skybike. I wanted us to go in as a team.” Pilot nodded at this, and then something clicked in her head. “Wait a minute. You said Phantom Strikers and Bio-Mechs. No Bio-Dreads?” Pilot asked. “That’s right.” Power replied impatiently. “But there’s nothing of military value in Waycross. That means--” “That Dread’s turned his attention to the safe havens – finding them and wiping them out one by one. He’s not taking any more prisoners or slaves.” Hawk didn’t have to say any more. Pilot swore silently. She should have known. They’d celebrated too much, too soon. And now they were paying for it. “Pilot? You ready for this?” Power broke into her thoughts. She was a soldier. She had to be ready. There would be time for other things later. “I’m ready. Let’s go.” |